just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
