At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
