dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
