it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
