This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
