he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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