we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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