Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I lost the right to judge tonight
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