In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
