The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
