hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
