The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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