I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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