Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My vagina is officially offended.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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