Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
