Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize