if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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