My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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