If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Let's get the cat blown out
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
