There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
