I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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