Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
