everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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