I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
