YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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