There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
