okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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