if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
its not stalking. its research.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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