Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize