champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize