He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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