drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
