she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
