I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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