Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
