The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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