White coat. Heels.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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