I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
