Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I could fuck to npr.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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