I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
