Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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