I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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