You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
