this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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