home. puking in laundry basket.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
