pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
