I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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