omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
