Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize