so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Randomize
