Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
