She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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