oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize