i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
