It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
