So drunk its hurt
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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