Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
