what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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