its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
